Lindsay in Wonderland
by SummerEliza
Summary: Lindsay follows a rabbit down a hole, only to find a not-so-magical place on the other end. What's to become of her? An AU for Crack and Fanon Week.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

Disclaimer: I own neither TDI nor Alice in Wonderland. Oh well.... I can dream.

* * *

Lindsay was relaxing under a tree, listening to Paula read her a story. She wasn't quite paying attention. Paula didn't exactly have the best reading voice. It sort of resembled a drone and it was sending Lindsay to sleep. Suddenly, something interesting caught Lindsay's eye. A guy wearing rabbit ears, a suit, and a large watch around their neck dashed past her. He jumped headfirst into a hole and disappeared underground. She crawled after him, casting a guilty look at Paula. Paula sat on the opposite side of the tree, still reading to Lindsay. Lindsay crawled deeper and deeper into the earth.

"I wonder if I'm going to fall into the center of the earth," she wondered aloud. (She was a little bit stupid.) "Mr. Rabbit, does this hole go to the center of the earth?" she asked. She received no response and could no longer see the boy. "I'll catch up to him and ask," she resolved. She continued to crawl.

Finally, she saw the end of tunnel. She stepped into the light and caught sight of the boy disappearing into a door holding a piece of cake. She rushed to catch up, but the door closed in her face. She tried to open it and found it was locked. She stomped her foot and turned around, pouting. On the table in front of her, there was a bottle of liquid and a plate of cakes.

"Eat me," she read off tag sticking out of the cakes. "What if they're poisoned?" she thought aloud. "I'll eat one. If it's poisoned I'll spit it out and if it isn't I'll be fine!" (Told you she was a bit stupid.) She took a bite of one of the cakes and started to shrink. "Oh my gosh! Magic cake!" she gushed. Lindsay wandered over to the door and slipped through the crack in the side. Outside there was a land that was just the right size for Lindsay. She caught sight of the rabbit boy hopping away. "Mr. Rabbit! Mr. Rabbit!"

He turned around and stared at her indignantly. "My name is not Mr. Rabbit! I don't know why all the visitors insist on calling me that! That Alice chick was bad enough, following me around and all…."

"Oh," Lindsay said, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "Then what's your name?"

"Noah," he said, crossing his arms.

Lindsay smiled at him. "Nice to meet you Noel! I'm Lindsay." She stuck her hand out for him to shake.

He took her hand reluctantly. "Nice to meet you too. And my name is Noah, not Noel."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I'm really bad with names." Suddenly, they heard a loud, shrill noise. Noah froze up.

"I'm outta here," he said. He started to hop away quickly.

"What's wrong?" Lindsay asked.

"If you value your eardrums, you'll get out of here," he said, glancing at her. She starts to follow him just as two girls, dressed identically, see them.

"EEEEE!" they squeal in synch. "It's Noah!" Noah groans and tries to keep going, pretending to not notice them. They run towards them, easily overtaking Noah. "Hi Noah!" the tanner girl said.

"Hi Noah!" the other girl said. Noah rolled his eyes, not responding.

Lindsay bounced over to them. "Hi, I'm Lindsay!" she said.

"Lindsay, this is Tweedledum and Tweedledumber," Noah said sarcastically. The two girls laugh.

"Oh, you're so funny!" the tanner girl said. "I'm Katie," she said to Lindsay.

"And I'm Sadie," the other said. "Nice ta meetcha!"

"Now that that's done, what did you want?" Noah asked rudely.

"Oh, the queen wants you," Sadie explained.

"The queen?" Lindsay asked.

"The queen," Noah said in an annoyed tone. "Queen bitch."

Katie and Sadie gasp. "Don't say that!" Katie said in a hushed tone.

"She might behead you!" Sadie whispered.

Lindsay's eyes widened. "Behead you?"

"She wouldn't do that. I'm too useful here," Noah said with bravado. You could see a trace of fear in his eyes though.

"Don't worry; I won't let anyone behead you!" Lindsay said bravely.

"We've got to go," Katie said quickly.

"Yeah, if she found out that you said that to us!" Sadie said. She drew a line across her neck, miming a beheading. The two quickly ran away.

"You think they'll tell?" Lindsay asked, worry showing plainly in her face.

"Nah. Besides, they'll have forgotten by tomorrow," Noah said. He set off towards a large forest in the distance. Lindsay followed behind him.

"Oh. Well, Sally and Kali were certainly nice," Lindsay said happily, all traces of worry gone.

"Sadie and Katie," Noah corrected her.

"I knew that!" Lindsay said brightly. The two walked quietly into the forest. Lindsay stared at all the crazy plants around her. There were purple ferns that waved as she passed, black trees contorted into strange positions, and large, leafy, orange bushes. She treaded quietly on the pink moss, following close behind Noah. Soon the trees started to get closer and closer together, blocking out the light. After another minute, the trees blocked out the light entirely and it was pitch black inside the forest.

"N-nick?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm over here Lindsay." She whipped towards his voice. "And it's Noah." She grabbed his arm and pressed her body against it.

"I thought I lost you!" she said, panicked.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, glad that she couldn't see his face, as it was flushed pink.

The two made their way peacefully for a while until something brushed against her arm. She shrieked and wrapped her arms around Noah.

"Um, Lindsay," Noah said, his face flaming red. "Could you get off me, please?"

"Oh, sorry," she said apologetically taking her arms off him. Finally they emerged into a small clearing. In the center of the clearing there was a large mushroom with a guy resting on it.

"Whoah, dudes! How's it going?" the guy yelled.

"Hey Geoff," Noah said resignedly.

"Hi Geoff!" Lindsay chirped.

"Noah, who's the pretty lady?" Geoff asked, waggling his eyebrows. He let a puff of smoke out of his mouth and waved the mouthpiece of the hookah at Lindsay.

"This is Lindsay. She followed me here," Noah explained.

"Dude, why do you get all the cute girls around here?" Geoff whined.

"I don't 'get' them. They just…. Follow me around," Noah said.

"First Alice…. Then Bridgette… now this," Geoff muttered.

"We'll be going now," Noah said quickly.

"Hey, won't you take a smoke with me before you go?" he asked.

"No thanks, Geoff," Noah declined. He quickly exited the clearing with Lindsay trotting behind him. After another minute of walking, something finally registered in Lindsay's brain. "How many girlfriends have you had Nathan?" she asked.

"Why do you ask?" Noah said, deflecting the question.

"Answer the question please!" Lindsay said stubbornly.

"Is it because of what Geoff said?" he asked.

She folded her arms and gave him what she thought was a piercing stare. "I just want to know!" she insisted.

"It's none of your business!" Noah said angrily, glaring at her. The two stared at each other for a minute. Finally, they reached a stalemate and both looked away.

"You're mean!" Lindsay said, frowning.

"It's my defining characteristic," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

Lindsay turned and stomped off. "I don't want to hang out with mean people!" she yelled over her shoulder.

"You following me around was annoying anyway!" Noah yelled back at her.

Lindsay gasped. "You're just…. just….. ugh!" She disappeared into the trees.

Noah stood staring angrily at his surroundings. He kicked a pebble at one of the trees.

"Ouch. That was pretty bad," a voice said. Noah looked up at the tree and saw a head floating on the branch. It was the head of a boy with a shock of bright red fur around his face.

"Shut up Harold. Or should I say….. Chessie?" Noah said nastily.

Harold's head narrowed its eyes. "Shut up. I don't know why Alice thought I looked like a Cheshire. I'm very obviously a long-haired Yogmalian!"

"Whatever Cat-boy." Noah started to walk in direction opposite to the one Lindsay had taken.

"All rudeness aside, you should probably go after her," Harold said seriously.

"And why would I do that?" Noah said.

"Well, firstly, she's hot," Harold said matter-of-factly.

Noah sighed. "Do you have a point or are you just mindlessly babbling?"

"And secondly, she's going towards the tea party," Harold continued.

Noah visibly paled. "T-the tea party?" he said.

Harold's head nodded, a phenomena that was slightly creepy, considering he had no head. "Just because the last girl that came was lucky and got away doesn't mean that Lindsay will." He suddenly noticed that Noah was not longer standing near him and had already hurried after Lindsay.

* * *

Lindsay looked down and saw something shiny in the grass. She squatted and picked a card off the ground. "Ooooh! That's pretty," she said, entranced by its shininess. Lindsay heard loud laughter at the top of the hill she was climbing. "Maybe I'll meet some _nice _people there," she said, sniffling. She saw a long table at the top of the hill. A girl with shocking red hair, a high top hat, and a sparkly red latex dress was currently standing on the table.

"I declare this hill the property of the Mad Hatter!" she yelled. She stomped her foot and the teacups on the table rattled.

"Izzy, could yoo' get off the table, eh?" the boy sitting behind her asked. He nervously tugged on the bunny ears coming out of his toque. Izzy turned a frightening glare on him. "I mean, Mad Hatter!" He gulped audibly.

"Thank you, Zekey-poo," Izzy said happily. She hopped off the table and saw Lindsay. "Hellooo! Zekey we have a visitor! Wake up the Mouse!"

Ezekiel flinched. "You knoo' she hates that yoo' call her that, eh," he said. "And she got back real late last night. She was with Tyler, eh."

Izzy crossed her arms and glared at him. "There is no night, Zekey. It is always tea-time! My watch says so!"

"Whatever yoo' say Iz-. I mean, Mad Hatter!"

"Just wake her up."

Ezekiel shook the girl slumped next to him. She shot upright, shaking back her dark hair and sending Ezekiel tumbling down the hill.

"What the h**l!" the girl yelled.

"Say hi to our visitor, Mousie!" Izzy said cheerfully.

"Another one?" Eva grumbled. Lindsay strained to hear Izzy as she snarled something at Eva. "I got it, I got it," Eva said, trying to placate Izzy. "And don't call me Mousie."

"Hi," Ezekiel said, waving timidly as he walked back up the hill again. "I'm Eze-"

Izzy glared at him and Ezekiel made a noise that sounded an awful lot like "eep!"

"I mean, I'm the March Hare!" he corrected.

"Nice to meet you EzeMarch Pear!" Lindsay chirped.

"That's noo't my name, eh," Ezekiel said. "I'm the March Hare."

Lindsay knocked her hand against her forehead theatrically. "Oopsie! Nice to meet you!"

Eva mouthed "Run away while you still can!" at Lindsay. Lindsay looked at her quizzically.

"Can you say that out loud?" Lindsay asked. "I'm not that good at reading."

"I'll say you aren't," Eva muttered.

"I'm the Mad Hatter!" Izzy said, taking off her top hat and bowing.

"I'm not sure if I want to see mad people," Lindsay said quietly to herself.

"It's hard to avoid here," Izzy told her. "Everyone here is mad!"

"Except me and some other select people," Noah said, panting as he arrived at the top of the hill.

"Nick!" Lindsay said joyfully. She suddenly remembered that she was mad at him as she was about to hug him. She paused in midair and looked confused.

"Are you okay?" he asked, surveying her position.

"Hmph!" She crossed her arms and turned away, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

He rolled his eyes. "You don't have to be like that. I even came to save you from these people," he said, jerking a thumb at those sitting at the table. "You better hope that the Queen doesn't assign you to work with them."

"I've got to work?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I've never done that before!" She clapped her hands in excitement.

"Well, unless you escape," Noah said.

She tapped her finger against her lip, pondering that. She shrugged. "Escaping sounds too complicated."

"Your funeral," Noah said.

"Maybe even literally," Eva muttered darkly.

Izzy smiled at Eva, a face that was somehow even more frightening that her glare. "Now, now, Doormouse. Don't frighten our new recruit!"

"Recruit…" Lindsay said. "Is that a new brand of clothes?"

"She's not working for you," Noah said assertively. He started to pull Lindsay away.

"You don't know that!" Izzy yelled after them.

"If I have anything to say about it, she won't!" Noah said as they started down the hill.

"But you don't have anything to say about that!" Izzy said. Even though Noah and Lindsay were quite far away, they could still see her stick her tongue out at them. Noah shook his head and continued to walk. "I got the last word!" Izzy screamed triumphantly.

"Izzy," Ezekiel said, tugging on her dress hem.

She turned towards him and smiled genuinely. "I got a little carried away, didn't I?" She swooped down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Zekey."

Eva mimed gagging. Izzy rolled her eyes and stood bolt upright. "Clean cup, clean cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!"

"But I haven't used my cup yet!" Ezekiel protested.

"No matter!" Izzy said. "A very merry unbirthday!"

* * *

"You can let go of me now," Lindsay said to Noah. He looked down and pulled his hand from hers. "I haven't forgotten how mean you were."

"Wow. Amazing," Noah said flatly.

"I know, right!" Lindsay said. "People always tell me I have the attention span of a rat!"

He blinked. "You mean, a gnat?"

She smiled. "That too!" Suddenly, her face fell. "Oh wait, I'm mad at you. Apologize before I forget I'm mad!"

"I'm….. sorry?" he said unsurely.

Her smile came back and she beamed at Noah. "Good! Now we can go back to being best friends!" She grabbed onto his arm and linked it with hers. Noah started to look extremely uncomfortable. She kissed him on the cheek and his face started to flame red. "Are you okay?" she asked when she caught sight of his face. "Do you have a fever?" She pressed her hand against his head. "Nope! No fever. You know, my sister gets fevers at the strangest times! Like that time when my ex-boyfriend saw her in her underwear."

Noah just shook his head at her stupidity.

* * *

A/N: Whadda you think? I know it didn't make very much sense, but all will be explained! This whole first chapter was just a mess of confusion.

This was originally my entry for the AU day of Crack and Fanon Week. However, I didn't finish it in time. I'm going to make it a long story instead of the one-shot it was originally going to be.

Review and tell me what you think! Cookies for reviewers!

Oh, and I'm pretty sure I made this clear but just in case I didn't........

In this chapter the couples were:

Ezzy (Izzy/Ezekiel)

Tyva (Tyler/Eva)


	2. Candy Mountain

Disclaimer: I own neither AIW or TDI. ACRONYMS galore!

* * *

"Can we go around them?" Lindsay asked.

Noah sighed in frustration. "For the last time, no! There is no way to go around them. On one side, you have the Forgotten Swamp." He gestured to the right. "Nobody has _ever _gotten through the Forgotten Swamp. On the other side, you have the Ocean of Despair." He pointed a finger violently to the left. "Unless being eaten by something resembling the Kraken is your preferred method of dying, I wouldn't recommend that way either!"

"Take a chill pill, Nate." She craned her head back and shaded her eyes. "They're just so high!" Lindsay whined.

Noah rolled his eyes. "They're mountains!" he said, not bothering to correct her on his name.

"They don't look like mountains," Lindsay said, looking confused.

"They're called the Candy Mountains." Lindsay opened her mouth and Noah cut her off, answering the question she hadn't asked. "They're actually made of candy. It's not just a name," Noah said impatiently, gesturing at the pink and blue mountains.

"Oooooh!" Lindsay said, comprehension dawning on her face. "Could we eat it instead of walking up it?"

"No," Noah said simply. He started to walk up the side of the mountain.

"What kind of candy is it?" Lindsay asked, following him.

"Crystal rock candy," Noah explained. He kicked at the pink ground. "Pure sugar."

"Cool!" The two continued to traipse up the mountain silently until Lindsay flopped onto the ground, exhausted. "Can we take a break?" she begged him.

"Yeah, sure," Noah said reluctantly. He sat down next to her, wincing at the uncomfortably hard ground.

"Hey, Nathan?" Lindsay said.

"It's Noah."

"Sorry. No….no…."

"Noah."

She smiled apologetically. "I'm not that good with names. Okay. Noah. Why do I have to work?"

Noah bit his lip. "Well, that's hard to answer."

Lindsay took a sharp breath of air. "If it's hard for you to answer it must be pretty hard!"

"Uh, yeah," Noah said dismissively. "Well, to start at the beginning. The first people here in Wonderland-"

"Wonderland! That's such a pretty name!" Lindsay squealed.

He rolled his eyes. "The first people here in Wonderland were the current queen and princess, and four others-"

"How did they get here?" Lindsay asked, interrupting him again.

"Please don't interrupt me," Noah said, annoyed. Lindsay clammed up, assuming that she had asked something stupid. It was actually a very good question. One that Noah didn't know the answer to. "One of them declared himself king and took control. Eventually the current queen overthrew the king. She's a much better ruler compared to him."

Lindsay screwed up her face in confusion. "Wait, isn't she the one who beheads people?"

Noah nodded and laughed shortly. "Yeah, that's her. Imagine what the king was like. Anyway, three of the other original people thought she was a tyrant and tried to overthrow her. She cursed them and two of them were transformed into flowers and one of them is now a cat."

"How'd she do that?"

"She's a witch. Not a very good one, but a witch nonetheless. So she decided that to stop the people living here from revolting, she had to put us all to work. When you get here, she automatically gives you a job."

Lindsay smiled brightly at Noah. "What's your job?"

"I'm a guide for new residents," he muttered.

"That sounds fun!" she chirped.

He abruptly stood up. "Let's get going."

Lindsay scrambled to her feet. She stretched and made a noise like a cat. Noah started to trudge up the mountain with Lindsay following close behind him. As they climbed, the temperature dropped drastically and Lindsay started to shiver violently. Noah was only faring a little better in his long sleeved suit. He suddenly stopped short and Lindsay bent over to investigate the large mass of puffy blue fluff in front of them. "What's that?" she asked, her brow knitted in confusion.

"Cotton candy," Noah explained, breathing on his hands for warmth. Lindsay took a small wisp of the fluff and popped it in her mouth. Noah started to walk around the cotton candy and Lindsay followed, eating bits of cotton candy as she went.

There was a rumble from the sky and Noah sent a worried glance at the heavy clouds gathering above them. There was a flash of lighting in the distance. Another clap of thunder sent Noah scrambling down the mountain. Lindsay tugged on the mass of cotton candy, trying to bring a fistful to snack on. She frowned when the cotton candy refused to separate. Noah stopped and turned around. "Lindsay, come on!"

"Huh?" she asked incoherently, still tugging on the candy. A fat drop of rain landed on her face. "It's raining," she commented. She looked up at the sky and another few drops plopped onto her face.

"Lindsay, hurry up!" Noah called urgently. "We've got to get out of here!"

She turned her face down towards him and released her grip on the cotton candy. "What's the rush?"

"Cotton candy is soluble!" Noah said, his eyes wide and serious.

Lindsay cocked her head at him. "Solu-what?"

He let out a frustrated breath of air. "Can we just go? Hurry, please!"

Lindsay shrugged and started to go after him. She had only taken a few steps when the heavens opened and a downpour immediately drenched everything. The cotton candy started to shrink and Noah gestured frantically for Lindsay to hurry. She started to rush down the mountain but was overtaken by a wave of sugar water. It carried her down the mountain as she screamed desperately. Noah grabbed her hand as she flew past him and was pulled down part of the way with her. The violent water jerked their hands apart and carried them far down the mountain, in opposite directions.

"Noah!" Lindsay screamed. Noah watched her, helpless, as she got farther and farther away from him.

* * *

A/N: Anyone have an idea about the who the Queen of Hearts is?

And no, I'm not being creative on that front. I've got to say, the bit about the queen, and the ex-king made it pretty obvious who they were. I'm not sure if it's as obvious who the princess is..... I'm kind of excited to have you guys meet the flowers though!


	3. When The Candy Clears

Disclaimer: I own neither TDI nor AIW. Anything new on that front?

_Italics are flashbacks guys!_

* * *

Lindsay pulled herself out of the river of sugar water with difficulty. She clambered onto the ledge of candy she had latched onto and collapsed, panting with exhaustion. The river continued to flow quickly beside her. Eventually she pushed herself into a sitting position and surveyed the scene around her. In front of her was a blue river that seemed to be dwindling with every passing second. It flowed into a small pool that looked like it had once been a small valley, surrounded by small mountains. In a gap between mountains, Lindsay saw a forest in the distance. She scrambled to her feet and started to make her way around the pool.

Several spills and trips later, she found herself on the other side of the water, heading through the gap. She climbed a little ways up the less rocky of the mountains with only a few problems and walked straight through the pass. At her first sight of trees, she broke into a blissful smile. After a few minutes of trekking through the thick foliage, she sat down in a brightly lit meadow. She leaned against a tree and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep.

"Is that girl gonna sleep for_ever_?" a voice said loudly. Lindsay's eyelids fluttered.

"Shhhh!" another voice hissed. "She'll wake up!" Lindsay made a small noise and opened her eyes. She blinked sleepily and rubbed her eyes.

"Too late," the first voice said.

A sigh was heard. "Leshawna!" the voice said exasperatedly.

Lindsay propped herself up from her slumped position against the tree. She looked up and saw a rather strange sight. Two flowers, as large as people, were in front of her. They were planted in rather large flowerpots that were situated on two carts. The flower on the right had teal and black petals. Her human face-shaped center was pale with a face on it. The flower on the left had larger petals than the other. They were a chocolate brown color, the same color as the center. "Oh my god, talking flowers!" Lindsay said, her eyes as big as saucers. She clapped her hands excitedly. "Do you say anything else?"

"Someone's missing a few screws," one of them commented.

"Gwen, be nice," the other said reprovingly.

"I don't do nice," she muttered.

"Hey, I'm Leshawna," the brown flower said.

"Nice to meet you, Lequisha!" Lindsay said. She brushed her hair behind her shoulder and offered up a blinding smile.

"It's Leshawna," Leshawna said.

Gwen snickered. "Like I said, just a few screws."

One of Leshawna's leaves moved and slapped Gwen lightly. "Like _I _said, be nice!"

Gwen waved her leaf at Leshawna. "Whatever."

Lindsay stared up at Gwen in awe. "Do you have a name too?"

"Gwen," Gwen said shortly.

"I'm Lindsay," Lindsay chirped. She looked at the flowers in front of her and a look of comprehension dawned on her face. "Are you the flowers Noah was talking about?" Gwen and Leshawna looked at her, confused. "The ones the queen got mad at!"

Gwen laughed, short and bitter. "Yeah. That's us."

Leshawna rolled her eyes. "You new around here, girl?"

"Yeah!" Lindsay smiled sweetly. "How'd you know?"

Leshawna ignored the question. "So that boy's tellin' stories about us now?"

Lindsay gasped suddenly. "Oh my god, Noah! Greta, Leshiqua, have you seen Noah?"

"Does she only remember his name?" Gwen muttered.

"Actually," Leshawna said slowly, dragging out the word.

"What, what?" Lindsay said eagerly.

"This is what happened," she started.

* * *

"_Dude, check it out!" Geoff crowed. He pointed at Noah's body. Noah was sprawled on the ground, bleeding lightly from the head._

_A guy was standing next to him. His body was an Ace of Hearts card and his head had a green Mohawk sticking straight up. He leaned over. "What happened to him?" he said, checking for other injuries. _

"_Who knows?" Geoff said cheerfully. "I saw him with a girl earlier."_

_The other guy smirked. "Mister Smartypants has got a girl? You sure he wasn't guiding her?"_

_Geoff shrugged. "I dunno. She was cute."_

"_I don't remember the queen mentioning that there was a new person for him to guide," the guy mused. He propped Noah up in an attempt to wake him up. In the process, he revealed the back of Noah's head, which was matted and bloody. _

_Both guys hissed in sympathy. "We've got to get him to Ezekiel," the guy said._

"_Good thinking, Duncan," Geoff said, nodding. The two of them pick Noah up and run off carrying him. As they charge into the forest, they pass Leshawna and Gwen, who were close enough to hear the whole thing._

_

* * *

_

"Wait, wait, wait," Lindsay said, her brow knitted in concentration. "So Noah was hurt. Jack and Dave took him to Eric to get help. And you and Greta happened to see it?" She smiled hopefully.

Gwen slapped her "face" with a petal. "And she got every single name wrong but Noah's."

Leshawna frowned. "Why _is _that? You're new here, right? How long have you known him?"

Lindsay blinked a few times and thought hard. "A….. day?"

"Are you asking or telling us?" Leshawna asked.

"A day!" she said definitively, smacking her palm with her fist. She smiled dreamily. "He's really nice!"

Gwen snorted. "Noah? Nice? You're putting them in the same sentence?"

Lindsay looked confused. "Why wouldn't I put them in the same sentence? Is there some rule about that? I'm not very good at English class."

"No, honey, there isn't a rule about it," Leshawna said, glaring at Gwen. "Gwen just doesn't think Noah's nice."

"Oooooooh!" Lindsay said, understanding blooming on her face. "But he's so sweet!" she protested. "He helps me out."

"Bridgette swears he can be sweet," Leshawna told Gwen.

"I've never seen it," Gwen said doubtfully. "Nor do I think I ever will. He only seems to be nice to girls that he _likes_."

Lindsay gasped. "Reeeaally?" she said.

"Not necessarily," Leshawna protested. "The boy's nice to…" She paused to think. "Izzy!"

"Sometimes," Gwen supplied.

"Not helping!" Leshawna told her. Gwen snickered. "He's nice to Bridgette!" Leshawna said.

"Used to like her," Gwen said.

"I've got it!" Leshawna said loudly. "He's nice to Ezekiel!"

"Ezekiel's not a girl," Gwen said flatly.

"Oh, yeah," Leshawna said dryly.

"And the conclusion we draw from this?" Gwen asked.

"I'm sure he's nice to _someone _he doesn't or didn't like!" Leshawna protested.

"He was nice to Isabel," Lindsay said. "You didn't mention her!"

"Who's that?" Leshawna asked.

"The girl at the tea party," Lindsay explained. "She had pretty hair!"

"Izzy?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah!" Lindsay said brightly. "Oh, wait, you mentioned her, right?"

"Yeah," Leshawna told her. There was a lull in the conversation. Lindsay got up and brushed herself off. Leshawna sighed and smiled sadly. "She's got _feet_," she said, emphasizing the word feet.

"That reminds me. Leshawna, you know the next full moons are tomorrow," Gwen said impatiently. "So why are we sitting around talking to her? I can tell you, it's not for the conversation."

Lindsay started to look excited. "There's a full moon? They're so pretty!" she gushed.

"Not full moon. Full moons. There are two here," Gwen corrected her.

Lindsay started to nod. "Okay. I get it. But why do you have to get ready for it?"

Leshawna opened her mouth. "It's a long story," Gwen said quickly, cutting off Leshawna. Gwen turned her "head" towards Leshawna. "Can we get going? We've got a lot to do."

"Yeah, yeah," Leshawna said. In a feat of mechanical genius, the mechanical contraptions that their pots were sitting on turned and started off into the forest. Lindsay stared at them in awe. "Girl, you comin'?" Leshawna called back at her. Lindsay nodded violently and ran to catch up.

* * *

A/N: Nobody should be compaining about the short chapters, because I'm churning them out here. I normally take a week to write a new chapter. And these chapters are pretty good quality because I have a plethora of ideas about this story. Most of my other stories are suffering because I have writers block. When I try to write with writers block, my chapters come out terrible. They just aren't good pieces of writing!

Did the identities of the flowers come as a shock to anyone? Just wondering.

I'm starting to sort of reveal some of the secrets about the characters and this whole land. By the end of this, you'll know quite a few quirky things about Wonderland. And it's not all so pretty and nice......


	4. Wonderland's Wonderful Shoppe

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI or AIW. I think you know that by now, right?

* * *

Lindsay walked easily behind the two giant flowers. They followed a well-worn path. "Stay away from the other flowers," Gwen advised Lindsay.

"Why?" Lindsay asked. "They're so pretty!" She bent down to get a closer look at the large pink and green bud near her feet. The bud shot open and sent two tentacles at Lindsay. They wrapped around her neck and dragged her head into the flower bud. Lindsay waved her arms and legs frantically, hitting the bud.

Gwen and Leshawna sighed. "Hitting it won't do any good," Gwen said. "Brace yourself and pull your head out."

Lindsay's flailing arms calmed, and she pushed herself out of the flower. "Ewwww," she said, wiping green goo off her face. Her face and hair were completely covered in the gunk.

"We've got to get you to a pond or something," Leshawna said wearily.

"That's why I said to stay away from the flowers," Gwen told her.

"Sorry, sorry!" Lindsay apologized. The three started off again, with Lindsay following close behind the other two.

"We should just go straight to the shop," Gwen said. "They have a shower there."

"Sounds good," Leshawna agreed.

Lindsay kept quiet, and the three traveled in silence for some time. Lindsay managed to get the worst of the gunk off in the meantime. Finally, they entered a clearing.

"Oh my gosh, is that a mall?" Lindsay squealed.

"Wonderland's Wonderful Shoppe," Gwen said derisively.

"Is that the name?" Lindsay asked.

Gwen rolled her eyes and nodded. Lindsay looked at the building with excitement. It was a tall building that resembled a traditional mall. However, it could never be mistaken for a normal mall, as it was made of sweets. The walls were gingerbread, the signs were graham crackers, and it was held together with spun sugar. The path up to the building was lined with gumdrops. Lindsay gazed up at the sign that read, "Wonderland's Wonderful Shoppe."

"The king named it," Leshawna commented.

"Sadly," Gwen added.

They started towards the door, and Lindsay practically skipped in happiness. She pulled open the door and hurried inside. Inside, Lindsay sighed in content as she was met with fluorescent lighting and air-conditioning. Gwen rang the bell by the door and after a minute, Lindsay heard feet scampering across the floor.

A girl with blonde hair in a ponytail and a blue apron slid to a stop in front of them. She tripped on her feet, dipped close to the ground, and popped up, all in one movement. "Hello, and welcome to Wonderland's Wonderful Shoppe," she said breathlessly. She blinked a few times. "Oh, it's you guys. I thought the Card Guard had come to inspect again."

"They might be here soon," Leshawna informed her. "We saw Duncan in the woods."

The girl frowned. "Let's just hope he's only here for the party." She noticed Lindsay, and her expression lightened. "Who's this?"

"Bridge, this is Lindsay," Gwen introduced them. "Lindsay, Bridgette."

"Hi!" Lindsay said chipperly.

"Hey," Bridgette said. "You're new?"

"Yup!" Lindsay responded. "I got here yesterday!" Bridgette smiled at her kindly.

"Maybe she'll get assigned to help you," Leshawna said.

"I could use it. Justin was useless. He was too busy whispering in the queen's ear," Bridgette said disdainfully.

"Well, we need stuff for the party tomorrow," Leshawna said.

"Oh, I picked something out for you!" Bridgette said excitedly. She trotted off and Lindsay, Gwen, and Leshawna followed. Lindsay looked around, drinking in the sights of the shop.

They walked through a shoe section, make-up counters, and a juniors department. Bridgette stopped in front of a door with the words "Fitting Rooms" written on it. She pulled a ring of keys out of her apron and opened the door. All three girls followed her into the fitting rooms, and Bridgette pulled out a bunch of different dresses.

"This is for you," Bridgette said, holding a yellow sundress in front of Gwen.

Gwen looked at her incredulously. "Yellow?"

"Think about it?" Bridgette pleaded.

Gwen made a face, and pretended to think about it. "Ummmm…. No."

Bridgette pouted. "I wish you'd wear something other than black."

"You try this every time. It has never, and will never work!" Gwen retorted playfully.

"I'll wear you down!" Bridgette said. She turned to Leshawna and held up a tight black dress with thick straps. "What do you think?"

"You suggest black for her!" Gwen protested.

"I've seen her in other colors!" Bridgette replied.

Leshawna chuckled. "I'll take that one. And could we get one for Lindsay? I'm pretty sure she'll be coming to the party."

"A party?" Lindsay inquired cheerfully.

"The Full Moons Party," Gwen explained. "Every year, both moons are only full at the same time once. We hold a party every year."

"It's a magical night," Bridgette said.

"We get to have feet!" Leshawna said joyfully.

"The queen's powers are at their lowest during the full moon, so when both moons are full, her spell on us wears off," Gwen told Lindsay happily. "Thank god for that curse Be-"

"Don't say that! The queen!" Bridgette interrupted her sharply.

"It's not like she can do anything else to us! We're already _flowers_, for gods sake!" Gwen said, irritated.

"You know she can do much worse," Bridgette said darkly. "And _I _have a lot to lose."

"Why is everyone so worried about the queen?" Lindsay asked.

"She's always watching," Leshawna said.

"Does she have some sort of magic crystal ball?" Lindsay said jokily.

"Exactly," Bridgette said, a dead serious look on her face.

The jingling of a bell cut through the conversation and Bridgette sprinted off towards the entrance. Lindsay walked out of the fitting room behind her.

"Welcome to Wonderland's Wonderful Shoppe!" they heard Bridgette say brightly. "How can I help you?"

A gruff voice rang out. "We need to inspect the premises."

Lindsay stood on her tip-toes and saw a four guys with cards for bodies. The Ace had a green Mohawk, the Two had shaggy black hair, the Three wore a red headband, and the Jack was a black man with a chef's hat. She went down flat on her feet and happened to catch a bit of movement out of the corner of her eye. A boy crept into an air duct with a girl holding it open for him. The girl saw Lindsay looking at her and held a finger up to her lips. She crawled into the air duct behind the boy and pulled it shut.

"_Why are they hiding?" Lindsay thought. _

_

* * *

A/N: _Mysterious! Sorry about the slower update. I'm trying to write **Beautiful Geek** simultaneously. I wrote about six or seven decent legnth chapters for that story, so my absense from this story is justified! Kind of.....

Review please! PWETTY PWEASE?


End file.
